


A Dream to BARE it All

by tacobonanzaaa



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22120729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tacobonanzaaa/pseuds/tacobonanzaaa
Summary: Dimitri's feeling too wrapped up in his princely image and wants to break out by becoming a stripper!  He's not sure how or where to begin, but the diva inside of him is itching for finding his true self.
Kudos: 3





	A Dream to BARE it All

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks I haven't written fanfiction in literally years, but in a bout of frustration over real life problems, I pulled this out of my ass. TY for being here for my rage-induced writing.

Dimitri was staring out of a window, wondering what life was like as a stripper. He felt sad, forlorn. Why? Why did he have to be born into this world as a prince? Why did he have to have so many responsibilities, his whole world resting upon his shoulders; millions of lives at stake?

It was all too much. When the professor chose Dedue to be the class dancer-- _Dedue, of all people!_ \--Dimitri felt a surprising twinge of envy. Sure, when the professor had swung by the Blue Lions Hall to ask Dimitri to do it, he gave an emphatic "no!". He thought differently now, though.

Throughout the months Dedue assumed into his role, Dimitri watched very closely. The lumbering giant slowly transformed into a graceful force of nature. Even when just walking around the halls and classrooms, Dedue now swayed around with ease and elegance. 'If he could do it, then I could too,' Dimitri thought.

But Dimitri wanted MORE. Being a dancer would have been just the first stepping stone to expressing his true self. Constantly working out to maintain a flawless body composition was also very, very necessary. Each training was worth every drop of blood and sweat, as confirmed by his majestic muscles. If Dimitri was going to be going to be king, then he wanted to be the hottest king in history.

But! There was a huge problem. It seemed like nobody was noticing.

Although somewhat reserved, Dimitri had a good sense of what people thought and were saying through the grapevine. He knew of the various opinions on the Dining Hall meals, Sylvain's girl of the week, the latest fashions. He knew who was into who; currently many students were fawning over Felix's freshly-trimmed locks.

Sadly, all Dimitri heard about himself were the usual compliments on his good-naturedness and generosity. He felt he was being remarked on his princeliness, not on being Dimitri.

It must be because of all the royal garb! It was like a suit of armor between himself and the world. People saw his uniform and treated him as the role he was cast in, a prince. What's worse is that this uniform covered _everything._ His hard-earned physique was blanketed by stiff fabric wool. Dimitri became stiff fabric wool.

He wanted to break out, become more dynamic. He wanted to show everyone that he could run around, jump and twirl in circles. That he could let his hair down and glisten beautifully in the sun. Most of all, he wanted to just take his royalty off, for just a quick minute, and be more than "your Highness."

He wanted every inch of his rippling abs, his chiseled pelvis and meaty biceps to dazzle any onlooker to tears. Legends of King Dimitri of House Blaiddyd would forever live in songs thoroughly detailing his Greek god bod and ability to turn a crowd of people into a sprinkler park when he disrobed.

* * *

Every fortnight when Sylvain would bring Dimitri to town, mostly to recruit him as his wingman, they would pass by the strip club. "We'll visit there when you're ready," Sylvain would say with his usual sly smile.

Tonight was different, though. Little did Sylvain know that Dimitri was demanding to be taken to the strip club because Dimitri was prospecting for a future career, not a future one-night stand.

"Wh- really?!" Sylvain yelled. "Am I hearing things right? You've _never_ said yes to anything I've introduced to you. Willingly, anyway."

"I... I know this sounds quite bizarre to you, Sylvain, but I must admit I have had a change of heart. You know that I have always wanted to understand and relate to the common folk, and I'd love to not have to be a prince for a night," Dimitri explained shyly.

"And you think that going to The Cyber Bunny is the only way to do that?" Sylvain asked, genuinely a bit puzzled. "Okay, don't answer that. I'm sure whatever's leading you to this point in your evolution is right."

"What does one wear to the, erm... 'strip club', as you call it?" Dimitri peered through his racks of the black uniform shirts, all of them perfectly identical and ironed. Sylvain groaned.

"Are you serious? You don't have a _single_ shirt that's not our black uniform shirt?" He scratched the back of his head, looking down. "Well, you can borrow one of my shirts, but you better buy me some free drinks or something, right?" He clapped Dimitri's shoulder a couple times.

"Oh, but--I do not think I am old enough to purchase alcohol," Dimitri said with a stammer. Sylvain gave him a wink.

"Don't worry 'bout it, I'll show you the ropes. Here! Put this on."

* * *

Finally spotting the neon pink signs, the boys quickened their pace. The night was mostly shrouded by darkness, except for this strange, isolated section of town that was magically lit with bright colors. Streets were paved with parallel lines, some of the lines breaking off into square-like shapes. The town was glowering green, mysterious yet also comforting. Thick, solid walls of some extremely dense rock and large sheets of flattened metal lined the buildings.

"Sylvain, I'm afraid this shirt may be..." A button popped off the top of Dimitri's shirt. "... a little bit small for me."

"Who knew you had all that muscle packed in that uniform?" Sylvain responded with laughter. "You weren't kidding when you said you trained all day long, every day. Maybe _I_ should give that a shot... just kidding."

The two stepped up to the huge, imposing backlit door that read: THE CYBER BUNNY, adorned with images of slinky silhouettes wrapped in ribbons. Dimitri gulped. This could be the night that shapes a dream. "Well let's get to it!" Sylvain whooped exuberantly, grabbing Dimitri's wrist and pulling him inside.


End file.
